The Princeton Woman’s Roadmap to Romance / Diagram of Despair

I’m glad I don’t have to worry about attracting a Princeton man before my maidenhood withers to dust by the time I’m 22 years old. I hear it’s tough being a single Princeton woman, so made this handy diagram to help navigate school, life, and love so they don’t end up having to settle for some loser who doesn’t even own an orange bow tie.